Spiritual Awakening

Spiritual Awakening is life altering to say the least.  It is different for everyone, yet there are common patterns and occurences.  What I went through might vary a bit for others. Whatever the circumstances, ascension begins because of a deep personal event that causes an internal crisis.  We must dig deep within ourselves for answers.  You reach a new state of awareness and the transition you go through is indescribable.

Some have mini awakenings throughout their life on their way to spiritual growth.  The spiritual awakening I am talking about and have personally experienced first hand is full-blown awakening.  This is when your entire being, your soul transcends to a heighten state of awareness.

EVERYTHING within you changes. You can feel frantic, disturbed, and scared because you have little or no control with what is happening to you.  You don’t know what the heck is going on! You have to try to go with it and know it is normal.  I am extremely grateful I had someone experienced and  kind enough to help guide me through my awakening. It was the most frightening, beautiful experience of my existence.

I remember when it began.  It all got to be too much for me.  I didn’t know what was going on.  I would get these strange feelings out of nowhere and felt hypersensitive to everything around me, I would panic, thinking, ‘am I ok??’.  Little did I know what was going to occur.

I would be flooded with emotion, I wouldn’t know where it was coming from and I just wanted some relief.  It was around the first time I had tried to set boundaries with my soul connection.  He didn’t like it and trying to get through to him exhausted me.  He was struck in ego land.  Gone.  Completely. Gone.  I could not stand it, too dysfunctional.  I wanted no part of his self destruction.  I had to separate myself.  Not only physically and mentally, but energetically.

I was tired.  I felt insane, out-of-place.  I wanted to be alone.  I debated checking myself into a mental hospital.  I was in a fragile, depleted state.  I wanted to retreat somewhere for the rest of my life and claim sanctuary forever.   I had discovered I had all the symptoms of spiritual awakening and that jolted my thoughts even more.  No way, this isn’t real, I thought.  It’s all in my head. This can’t be happening.  Well, guess what?  It was.

I remember exactly when it hit me.  I was in my room at my apartment, I had been wanting tons of solitude lately and it almost seemed odd, like it was on purpose.  Then, it happened.  It was like someone flipped a switch.  I felt this change inside of me.  I cannot put into words the way it feels.  THIS is what EGO DEATH is all about.  THIS is IT.  WOW.  MEGA TRANSFORMATION.  I burst into big fat tears and started to laugh and cry, saying “OH MY GOD, this is REAL, OH MY GOD!”

First thing I took notice of was a surreal feeling all around. I felt different and everything around me felt different.  It was like I was in another world.  I felt connection to everything and everyone and could intensely feel what they felt. I also strongly felt there was a presence around me at all times.  I knew I wasn’t alone.  TONS of psychic activity and strange coincidences.

This was when I met the energy me and was beginning to see the truth of the universe through energy…..

I had weird, overpowering surges of energy.  My energy was changing it’s frequency, going to a higher level (my energy centers aka chakras).  I sensed energy like never before!  Shivers down my back, outbursts of crying/emotion/heart would race, bizarre sleep patterns.  I would wake up 2 or 3 times during the night, every 2-3 hours.  I found out this is commonly called the “triad sleep pattern”.

I also had very vivid dreams, unlike anything I have ever felt or seen.  I had warm, heated, tingley sensations in the palms of my hands, the bottoms of my feet, and my chakras.  I would wake up really tired or want to sleep more.

I was so happy that this happened to me, I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life! But I also felt crazy and frustrated.  No one understood this change I was going through. It is very ironic to feel connected to the universe while feeling out of whack at the same time.  I wanted to talk about it constantly, but had no one to talk to.  The energy would get to me and there would be times I could not function.  Eventually, the energy levels out and the new level becomes normal.  The quicker you deal with the progression, the quicker the recovery.

All these changes came on so rapidly, it freaked me out.  I felt like a completely new person.  What do I do now? I thought.  How is this helping anything or anyone?  I felt like a lunatic. I knew I had no control, but still wondered why it was happening.

There is no way someone would CHOOSE this.  It’s a total lifestyle change that turns your world upside down, never to be the same again.  No one in their right mind would want this!  I would become frazzled, confused, and ask God, why me?!?  I would sob and say out loud that I didn’t want this.  I told God to choose someone else, that I wasn’t strong enough.

But I knew I could not go back to how I was, the “old me” was gone.  That is the most bewildering feeling to have.  I was changed forever and I really FELT it….I literally could not go back to who I thought I was.  That was in the past.  I couldn’t go back even if I tried.  Everything was too different.  Going back to how I used to be didn’t feel right and it didn’t make sense anymore.

Whatever I didn’t understand, didn’t want, didn’t matter.  It was not up to me.  It was going to continue anyway.  The universe picked me to go through this for whatever reason and I had to let it flow.  I had no choice, it chose me.  I didn’t care about things I once did.  I wanted to be of service in some capacity and help others.  I have always been this way, but struggled with what I was put on earth for.   The urge to help and reach out to others was so strong in me, or I should say is, it’s something I can’t deny.

As much as I still struggle at times, I am seeing the reason why this happened, even if it’s shown only one step at a time.  I am seeing why this was chosen for me. It’s a hard path to follow, but I’ll get tugged in this direction the more I resist.  A big part of the spiritual journey is letting go and letting God.

Spiritual awakening is a one way ticket to show you the inner workings of the universe.  It makes you see everything for what it really is.  There is purpose in the most unexplainable situations.  Every life is a miracle, every soul is important.  We are all in this together. We are all equal no matter what role we play on earth.  You’ll be tripping the light fantastic and laugh to yourself that you never noticed it before.  It’s cool stuff.

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